Performance reviews can often feel intimidating and nerve-wracking, even before they begin. It’s not uncommon to imagine them feeling one-sided: a team member walks into the room, listens to the manager’s feedback, takes notes, and leaves—sometimes with a sense of relief, other times with lingering worries.

Although the power dynamic between a manager and a team member is real, it doesn’t mean you have no say in these meetings. Here are four tips to help you feel more confident and empowered during your next performance review.

1. Redefine performance reviews

It’s easy to understand why we can be resistant to feedback—it’s human nature to focus more on negative events than positive ones. But this leads to the biggest myth of performance reviews—that they’re only about bad news.

In reality, receiving feedback is just one of the many purposes of performance reviews. They also help us grow in our careers, clarify how our roles align with broader goals, and advocate for recognition of our contributions. When we shift our focus to these objectives, it becomes clear that performance reviews are a two-way street. By being proactive and coming prepared, we can shape the review process and work toward a productive outcome.

Here’s another perspective: performance reviews are an opportunity to connect with our managers. Receiving feedback isn’t easy, but sharing constructive criticism is no walk in the park either. Since both parties are investing time and effort in performance reviews, why not view them as an opportunity to strengthen the working relationship? This mindset helps us approach the conversation openly, embrace feedback, and collaborate on mutually beneficial solutions.

2. Add “yet” behind your limiting beliefs

Whether we realise it or not, we all hold limiting beliefs that can initially hold us back. These beliefs keep us entrenched in a fixed mindset, where we see our abilities as static, rather than a growth mindset, where we view challenges as opportunities to develop and improve.

Here’s an easy way to start shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset: add the word “yet” to your limiting beliefs. This small but powerful word transforms the seemingly final narratives we tell ourselves into empowering statements that emphasise learning and growth.

Even the most accomplished person in the world has skills they haven’t mastered and goals they haven’t achieved—yet. In the meantime, it’s important not to sell ourselves short or close doors on opportunities before they’ve had a chance to unfold. Instead, let’s focus on the potential and possibilities we have yet to unlock.

3. Improve your communication skills 

Performance reviews can involve difficult conversations that we’re unsure how to handle.

How do we disagree without seeming defensive? How can we ensure we’re on the same page? And how do we ask for what we need—whether it’s more support, a change in responsibilities, or even a pay raise?

To approach these conversations with greater confidence, we can enhance our communication skills with these tips.

4. Share your aspirations

Where do you see yourself in the next year? This is a common question in job interviews, but it can also come up during performance reviews. Being able to articulate your vision shows that you are proactive and goal-oriented. But, before you can formulate a thoughtful answer, reflect on the following questions. 

What’s most important to you?

• What are your values at work?
• What were the most enjoyable parts of your job?
• Think about your favourite project. What did you love most about it?
• What motivates you at work?

What would success in your job look like?

• What would you be doing on a day-to-day basis?
• Who would you be working with?
• What problems do you want to solve?
• What results are you producing?

What progress have you already made?

This is more than just an opportunity to celebrate your achievements; it also gives you a chance to reflect on the factors that contributed to those successes (e.g., teamwork and collaboration) and think about how you can build on them moving forward.

Ace appraisal season with Intellect

With introspection, an open mind, and a willingness to learn and communicate, you can gain valuable insights from your performance reviews and grow both personally and professionally.

If you need some support, Intellect’s self-guided interventions can help. Here are some recommended Learning Paths you can find on our app:

You may also enjoy:

• How to have difficult conversations with your manager during appraisal
• How employees can prepare for performance reviews: Tips from an executive coach
• How to give feedback during performance reviews: Tips from an executive coach

If your answer is “yes,” you might have social media dependency. 

Before we move on, let’s get this straight: Social media, in and of itself, isn’t bad. In fact, it can be beneficial—it can serve as a source of motivation or inspiration, a way to connect with distant friends and family, or a platform to promote ourselves or our businesses. However, it is possible to have too much of a good thing. And if you’re looking to reduce your social media use, you’re in the right place. 

How much is too much?

Social media dependence is characterised by a compulsion to use social media. For example, we might constantly check notifications, updates, or new posts even in situations where it’s better not to—like during meetings, meals, or while driving. We might become restless and anxious if we’re away from your phone for too long or use social media to escape personal problems or unwanted emotions.

With social media dependence, we may find it difficult to control the amount of time you spend on certain platforms, to the point where it affects our overall wellbeing. 

Spending excessive time online not only causes sleep disturbances, headaches, and poor posture; our mental wellbeing can take a hit too. Social media dependence can reduce productivity and, ironically, make us feel more disconnected from those around us, as we prioritise checking notifications over engaging in face-to-face conversations. Not to mention, the effects of social media on self-esteem, often driven by FOMO (fear of missing out) and upward social comparison, are well-documented.

While there’s no consensus on the exact number of hours that indicate social media dependence, some research suggests that more than three hours of daily use may signal a level of dependence. 

How to reduce social media use 

Step 1: Engage in metacognition

The first step to overcoming social media dependency, or preventing it from becoming one, is to engage in metacognition—thinking about our own thought processes. By understanding what prompts us to reach for your phone, we can become more aware of the triggers and motivations behind your social media use.

Here are three prompts to help you figure that out: 

• When do you most often reach for social media?
  
  Is it when you’re alone, before going to bed, or during idle moments? Try not to analyse your behaviours just yet; simply consider when you use social media the most on an average day.
  
  
• How do you feel just before you seek out social media?
  
  Are you bored, moody, anxious, or unappreciated? Or maybe you’re happy and excited because you want to post something?
  
  

• How does social media help to ease or enhance that feeling?
  
  Does it provide a sense of connection, or a distraction from a negative emotion?

Step 2: Identify your unmet need(s)

Whether we’re aware of it or not, there are underlying social and psychological drivers pushing you toward certain behaviours. These include our needs for:

• Connection: Sharing life updates or participating in online communities fosters a sense of belonging.
• Validation: Instant feedback through likes, comments, and shares makes us feel recognised for our opinions or achievements.
• Entertainment: From memes to live streams, social media offers a readily accessible source of amusement and novelty. 
• Comparison: Checking in on friends’ lives helps us gauge whether our own lives are on the “right” track.
• Coping: Scrolling through feeds, watching videos, or engaging in online discussions can temporarily alleviate stress, anxiety, or boredom.

With its convenience and accessibility, social media often satisfies these needs, but dependency develops when it becomes our only way of filling the void. To reduce social media use, we need to explore alternative strategies—which brings us to the next step.

Step 3: Explore alternative strategies 

Smokers often turn to cigarettes for stress relief, which may be replaced with physical activities.. Similarly, if you’ve decided to reduce social media use, consider other options that address your underlying needs. Here are some examples:

Step 4: Manage withdrawal symptoms  

Changing a habit or quitting an addiction is never easy, and just like with physical stimulants, a social media cleanse can cause withdrawal symptoms. You might feel jittery or restless, as if you need to do something with your hands. It could feel like an itch you can’t scratch, driven by the urge for instant gratification from checking what others are up to.

When that happens, here are three exercises to help you sit with negative emotions and find relief: 

• Blank screen: Imagine you are staring at a white wall or a blank screen. When a negative thought comes to you, visualise yourself erasing it from your mind. This mental tool helps to combat intrusive thoughts that may arise when you are unoccupied.
  
• Five senses: Note five things you can see, four sensations you can feel, three sounds you can hear, two scents you can smell, and one flavour you can taste. This shifts your attention away from the impulse to check your phone.
  
• Three good things: Each day, jot down three things you are grateful for and document how they make you feel. Gratitude journaling helps refocus your mind on the positive aspects of your life, reducing the need for external validation

To make these exercises even more accessible—and to address the urge when it arises—you can replace your social media use with the Intellect app. Backed by Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, our self-guided interventions include: 

• Learning paths: Short courses comprising modules (skill-focused lessons) and check-ins (interactive exercises to apply your knowledge). 

• Rescue sessions: Quick interventions comprising breathing exercises and audio recordings to provide in-the-moment relief. 

• Guided journals: Writing prompts to organise your thoughts and find clarity and insights.
  
• Meditation exercises: Mindfulness techniques to remain in the present moment and observe your internal experiences without judgement. 

Step 5: Regulate social media use

The final step is to create specific action plans to curb your social media dependency. Addressing this issue doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing approach; change happens in increments, so reducing your usage to a healthier and more manageable level is a success in itself

You can start by: 

• Set a time limit. It’s easy to lose track of time on social media. Set a timer or use tools like ‘Focus’ mode on iPhones or apps like AppBlock or Flipd to limit your usage.

• Cut morning phone usage. Checking your phone first thing in the morning can increase stress and disrupt a calm start to your day. Use a traditional alarm clock instead to avoid this temptation.
  
• Mute certain apps/ notifications. Switch notifications off when you want to be more present, like during meals, vacations, get-togethers, or other social events.
  

Ready to cut down on your screen time? 

It’s easy to become addicted to social media—the instant gratification from each like, comment, or share is hard to match. But if you feel that endless scrolling is interfering with your non-digital life, there are ways to regain control over your online time. Remember to understand your motivations, seek alternatives, and establish healthy boundaries. Good luck on your journey!

Now that can be very stressful. 

How parental stress and burnout manifests

In an online poll during our Conquer Chaos: Parent Hacks for Thriving at Home webinar conducted by mother and counsellor Janet Gay, 

• 54% agreed that the behaviour of their children is often embarrassing or stressful
• 67% agreed that having children leaves little time and flexibility in their lives;
• 54% agreed that it’s difficult to balance different responsibilities because of their children. 

Our small sample size may be small, but these are universal experiences that can lead to parental burnout. When parents don’t have the resources to cope with stress and burnout, they may experience:

• Exhaustion: Mental, emotional, and physical fatigue 
• Depersonalisation: Feeling like a robot and not being in control of what you say/do
• Lack of fulfilment: Losing passion, purpose, and joy in your parenting journey 

Most importantly, parental stress burnout can shape their parenting styles. Rather than developing an authoritative parenting style, where they are nurturing, supportive, and attuned to their children’s needs, they may adopt the following alternatives.

• Authoritarian: Being demanding, unresponsive, and rigid (i.e. “tough love”)
• Neglectful: Offering little nurturance, guidance, and attention 
• Permissive: Allowing children to do as they please with little direction 

In fact, it has been proven that parents who are stressed and burnt out are more likely to be authoritarian and neglectful. Studies have also shown their children are more likely to struggle with their temperament, attention span, and a harsh inner critic. 

For your wellbeing and that of your children, it’s important to learn strategies to manage the inevitable stress and burnout that comes with parenthood. Here are a few tips Janet shared during the webinar. 

Strategies for parental stress or burnout

According to Janet, there are two sets of strategies for managing parental stress and burnout: the ones to be employed in the heat of the moment, and the ones that help build resilience in the long term. Parenting is a lifelong journey, after all. 

Short-term strategies 

Picture this: It’s bedtime but your child is throwing a tantrum and refusing to sleep. Or, they’re melting down in a mall and everyone is staring. In these moments, it is natural to feel angry, frustrated, and even embarrassed. But remember, how we manage these unpleasant emotions may inform how they grow to manage theirs. 

Before reacting, it’s important to 

1. Be mindful of your emotional or bodily reactions: Simply naming your feelings and where the unpleasant sensations are manifesting (e.g. flushed cheeks) makes you aware of triggers before you flip your lid.
   
2. Pause and disengage: Take deep breaths and, if possible and necessary, remove yourself from the stressful situation for a short while. Give yourself the time and space to process your internal experiences instead of projecting them onto your child.
   
3. Choose a helpful course of action: You may feel pressured to discipline your child in public, but yelling at them may escalate the situation. Consider alternatives like communicating with them at their eye level.
   
4. Speak to your loved ones: After the incident blows over, you may talk to your spouse or a trusted family member about it. This allows you to address feelings of isolation, guilt, and even shame, especially if you think you could have handled the situation better. 

If these steps sound daunting, you’re not alone. Emotion regulation is among the top struggles of individuals in Asia, and is a skill that we can hone through regular practice. Here are some strategies to help you along. 

Long-term strategies 

1. Social support

As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. True enough, a study of Parental Burnout Around the Globe, which revealed that parental burnout is more prevalent in individualistic cultures than collectivist ones. So, whether you need time off or expert guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family members, or even your child’s teachers for help. You may also consider befriending other parents at school, or leveraging support from social media groups.

Beyond your circles, what other resources can you find in your community? In Singapore, for instance, the Ministry of Social and Family Development appointed ten Parenting Support Providers (PSPs). In collaboration with schools and community partners in their designated regions, these PSPs offer evidence-based parenting programmes and right-site parents to services, ensuring that they’re not on this journey alone. 

2. Communication

Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy parent-child relationship. It not only fosters trust and understanding but also empowers children to express themselves confidently. By adopting specific communication strategies, parents can create an environment where children feel valued, heard, and respected.

• Let them make their own mistakes: Instead of stepping in when they procrastinate on a school project, allow them to face the consequences. Use this as a learning opportunity by discussing what went wrong and how they can do better in future. 

• Create predictable routines: Consistent routines set clear expectations for your child. When daily activities follow a predictable pattern, there’s less room for misunderstanding, leading to fewer conflicts over tasks like bedtime or homework.
  
• Give them a choice: Whether it’s picking out clothes or deciding on a snack, this communicates trust in their decision-making and respect for their preferences. It also paves the way for open dialogue about their likes and dislikes.
  
• Take an interest in your child’s life: Discussing their hobbies, learning about their friends, or staying informed through school newsletters show that you value their world and encourage them to share more with you.

3. Time management

Often, the stress of parenthood comes from having to do it all; from being on top of your home and work life to keeping tabs on your children’s school life. Janet’s tip? Create a shared family calendar to keep everything in order, streamline communications, and ensure that important events and activities are never missed. 

• Centralised organisation: Janet uses Google Calendar as a centralised family calendar where everyone in the family can add their events, appointments, and activities. This way, all family members can access a single calendar to see what everyone is up to, reducing the chances of scheduling conflicts.

• Colour coding:  In the family calendar, different colours can be assigned to each family member’s activities, making it easy to glance at the calendar and know who is doing what without needing to read each entry.

• Notifications: Setting reminders for key events, such as a reminder the night before her child’s spelling test in school, ensures that everyone is prepared and important tasks are not forgotten.

Good parenting starts with your well-being

Janet points out that many parents struggling avoid seeking help due to the fear of admitting their challenges. This tendency to suffer in silence often exacerbates feelings of guilt and shame, trapping them in a vicious cycle of stress and burnout.

Finding a safe space to discuss and understand your struggles is crucial. Intellect Clinic strives to provide just that, and our skilled counsellors and clinical psychologists are ready when you are. 

Contact us today to schedule an appointment within the same week.

What do these statements have in common? They exemplify toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity is the belief that one should maintain a positive mindset regardless of how dire a situation is. Although it might seem like good advice, this relentless positivity can be unhelpful because it denies the validity of other human emotions. While these statements may be well-intentioned, they can backfire when offered to others.

Toxic positivity can also manifest in self-talk. For instance, when you tell yourself to “chin up and soldier on,” you might be invalidating or masking difficult emotions, which can intensify fear and anxiety. Repressing emotions not only affects your mental wellbeing but can also impact your physical health.

When suppressed emotions inevitably surface, you may feel bad about not maintaining a positive outlook. This can lead to unhelpful comparisons: If others can stay positive, why can’t I? This mindset traps us in a vicious cycle, denying us the opportunity to understand our emotions better and grow as individuals.

Examples of toxic positivity

Have you or someone you know fallen into the toxic positivity trap? Here are some signs to look out for: 

• Brushing off problems rather than facing them
• Hiding your feelings behind feel-good quotes
• Feeling guilty or ashamed for experiencing negative emotions

If these behaviours sound familiar, you’re not alone. Confronting unpleasant emotions is challenging, and it’s often easier to resort to toxic positivity. Plus, society reinforces this by often dismissing feelings like sadness as signs of weakness. We sometimes do this to others by:

• Minimising their feelings because they make you uncomfortable 
• Telling someone to cheer up when they share their troubles
• Shaming others when they appear to be in a bad mood 

These behaviours occur more often than we’d like to admit, which is why we have unflattering labels like “Debbie Downer” and “Negative Nancy.” But what if we took a different perspective?

How to avoid toxic positivity at work

The antidote to toxic positivity is self-compassion—a non-critical attitude towards one’s inadequacies and failures. Self-compassion has three components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

1. Self-kindness

When we are kind to ourselves, we see ourselves as worthy no matter what, even when we fall short of our own expectations. Of course, this is easier said than done, which is why we tend to be kinder to others than to ourselves.

Imagine you are a friend struggling—what would you do or say, and how would you say it? The next time you find yourself defaulting to toxic positivity, pause, call on this empathic voice in your self-talk. While at that, you can try:

Likewise, when you’re on the verge of blurting out “cheer up!” to someone who is struggling, you might say:

• This must be really hard for you. 
• I may not know the right things to say, but I’m here to listen. 
• How can I help?

2. Common humanity

During times of overwhelm, it’s easy to believe that our negative reactions define us. We might even resort to labelling or name-calling:

• If I felt anxious in a social situation, it must mean I’m socially awkward. 
• If I get frustrated with my children, it must mean I’m a bad parent. 
• If I avoided a difficult conversation, it must mean I’m a coward. 

In these moments, it helps to focus on our common humanity and remember that no one is exempt from experiences of anxiety, frustration, and avoidance. Those unpleasant emotions you are feeling right now? They are embedded into the broader human experience.

Now, there is a major difference between saying, “Everybody goes through tough times. Why can’t you cope like others?”—this is the voice of toxic positivity—and “This is a universal experience. You are not alone.” By reminding yourself that unpleasant emotions are par for the course, you can start to accept rather than deny them.

3. Mindfulness

Making room for unpleasant emotions is a good start, but how will you handle their bubbling to the surface? Mindfulness – a practice of observing your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations instead of reacting to them – can help you maintain perspective in times of distress.

Incorporating what we now know about self-kindness and common humanity, the S.A.F.E. technique achieves this in four steps: soften, allow, feel, and expand.

Step 1. Soften

Soften into your feelings by focusing on your breath. Inhale deeply, name the emotion(s), and identify where its presence is the strongest in your body. 

For example, if you had stumbled over your words during an important presentation, you might feel embarrassment and hot flashes over your face.

Step 2. Allow

Let the emotion be without resisting it. Remember, allowing this feeling does not mean you are okay with it, and making room for it does not mean it will stay permanently. Think of “embarrassment” as a temporary visitor; you’re simply acknowledging its presence.

Step 3. Feel

Experience the emotion with self-kindness. Ask yourself: What does “embarrassment” believe? Does it think that you are unworthy and that everyone is judging you?

More importantly, what does “embarassment” need right now? Is it reassurance from others or self-acceptance? Silently or out loud, address this need with an affirmation like, “May I find peace with my performance earlier.”

Step 4. Expand

Lastly, expand your awareness by reminding yourself that public speaking is widely known to be nerve-racking, and most people in your situation struggle with embarrassment.

Extend the same compassion you just gave yourself to your colleagues who may be encountering similar difficulties. When reassuring yourself, you may add the phrase “and so are other people” at the end. For example, “I’m doing the best I can and so are other people.”

During this process, physical touch can be particularly powerful, introducing a sense of security and helping with self-soothing. Some techniques include:

• Face: Placing a hand on your cheek or holding your face in your hands 
• Chest: Placing a hand (or both) on your heart, gently stroking your chest, or placing one hand around your fist and over your heart 
• Abdomen: Placing a hand on your abdomen or both hands on your belly 
• Arms: Gently stroking your arms, crossing your arms and giving yourself a gentle squeeze, or holding one hand in another 

Let Intellect help you

Understandably, we may forget these steps and need support to stay on track when the going gets tough. That’s where Intellect’s self-care app comes in, offering numerous interactive interventions based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. With resources like the Developing Self-Compassion Learning Path, you’ll have valuable tools right in your pocket to guide you through challenging times.

If you find yourself being overly self-critical due to deeply seated beliefs formed in childhood or adolescence, it might be time to seek additional support. Consider coaching, counseling, or even psychotherapy. Intellect provides affordable sessions with a diverse panel of mental health professionals, ensuring you can easily find someone who is culturally attuned and based in your country.

Get in touch with Intellect today and start your journey towards better self-compassion and mental health.

According to Alicia Yoon, client solutions and consulting lead at Intellect, there are two routes when facing setbacks. The first is to ruminate deeply on these, which may impede your ability to act. The other is to think about these positively—acknowledging the challenge and asking yourself what you can learn and do to overcome it. 

How you respond to these challenges relies on your level of resilience, or your ability to learn and “bounce back” from difficult experiences. 

Many think that resilience is a personality trait you’re born with—a hit or miss in the genetic lottery. But resilience is context-based; it’s influenced by different factors, like your upbringing and lived experiences at home, in the workplace, or within society in general. And even if these external factors have contributed to a relatively low level of resilience, it’s not the end. By changing your mindset and with enough practice, you can turn things around.

Six green flags of resilience

Several signs indicate your level of resilience.

1. You have a survivor mentality 

You see challenges as opportunities for growth. Just like in reality shows or movies, the last man or woman standing is the one who didn’t succumb to the challenge—they used the skills and talents at their disposal to figure creative ways out of a sticky situation. Because they know that there is always a way out of a sticky situation! 

2. You can regulate your emotions

People who can manage their emotions better tend to have better resilience. They still get upset or angry, but they can stay calm and respond constructively even in face of overwhelming emotions. At the end of the day, there is no positive or negative emotion—we go through a spectrum of emotions in our day-to-day lives. 

3. You feel in control

Feeling a sense of control over your situation is a marker of resilience – you know you can do something to change your circumstances or perception of them. On the contrary, if you think that “bad things always befall you” and you have “no agency over what happens next,” such thought patterns reinforce the belief that you are helpless; a passive character in life’s greater plot. By focusing on what you can control, you’re empowered to take charge of your own story.

4. You focus on problem-solving

Being resilient doesn’t mean you always know what to do when faced with a challenge. But a resilient person won’t just sit back and do nothing; they get curious and explore different solutions, like reaching out to individuals who have experienced a similar situation and come out of it stronger. 

5. You have self-compassion 

It may surprise some that being resilient is also being kind to yourself. People tend to be harder on themselves than on other people, but beating yourself up over “failings” you can’t control does little for personal growth. By practising self-compassion instead, you see yourself more positively and build your self-esteem. 

6. You have social support 

Last but not least, social support is key to resilience. A strong support system can help you discover solutions you wouldn’t have thought of when you’re in a rut. Additionally, it keeps you from having tunnel vision and being stuck in unhelpful thought patterns. 

How to build resilience

There are three tips for building resilience: develop mental agility, cultivate compassion, and build mindfulness practices. 

1. Develop mental agility

There are two key parts when it comes to developing mental agility: identify and reframe. Identify an unhelpful thought, and reframe it as a helpful one. You can apply the three Cs here: catch it, check it, change it. 

To catch it, familiarise with a few unhelpful thinking styles: 

• All-or-nothing thinking. You think in black and white. When your manager says you’ve been underperforming lately, you consider yourself as a complete failure rather than recognise that there is room for growth.
  
• Jumping to conclusions. You assess events based on your view of yourself rather than concrete evidence. When you see your colleagues whispering to one another, you assume that they must be gossiping about you.
  
• Over-generalisation. You apply your learning from a single event to all contexts indiscriminately. If you grew up with parents who gave you the silent treatment every time they were mad, you may misinterpret your manager’s lack of response for disapproval.

Caught it? Great. Now, you can reframe a difficult situation as an opportunity. Here are some examples:  

• Unhelpful thought: “I always make mistakes. Why can’t I get things right?”
• Reframed thought: “I didn’t do a perfect job, but I have the chance to learn and improve for future opportunities.” 

• Unhelpful thought: “My manager must think I am incompetent and I will never get promoted.”
• Reframed thought: “I am confident in the work that I have done so far. Just because my manager wants to speak with me doesn’t mean it’s bad news.”

• Unhelpful thought: “I’m worried if I speak up to my manager, it will affect my performance review.” 
• Reframed thought: “Only if I speak up can my manager know what I really think.”

2. Cultivate compassion

Ever heard of the saying, “hurt people hurt people”? Cultivating self-compassion not only helps you to manage stressful situations, but it also improves your relationships with others. This is because self-compassion cultivates a growth mindset and promotes self-acceptance. When you show up as your real self, you implicitly give others’ permission to be authentic, too.

Self-compassion is the process of turning inward and choosing to be kind, not critical, when you inevitably make a mistake. According to Neff’s theoretical model, there are three components to self-compassion: 

• Self-kindness: Demonstrating kindness to yourself as you would to others.
• Mindfulness: Paying attention to and grounding yourself in the present moment. 
• Common humanity: Acknowledging that all of us suffer and go through similar hardships.

3. Practise mindfulness

Mindfulness is the awareness of the present moment brought about by focused attention. It enhances mental agility because it allows you to pause and identify an unhelpful thought before it escalates into a vicious cycle. Instead of judging yourself for a “good” or “bad” thought or feeling, you see them more clearly and for their transience. They are simply thoughts, not truths. 

Here’s how you can practise mindfulness:

1. Sit down in a comfortable position
2. Close your eyes or softly gaze downwards so you’re not distracted by your surroundings
3. Put your hands on your lap
4. Listen to your inner voice without judgement 

Ready to build resilience? 

How resilient are you? Find out where you stand by taking Intellect’s Personal Insights Quiz. If there is room for growth, don’t worry. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere, and we’ll provide you with a personalised self-improvement plan to do just that. In fact, our platform has helped employees in Singapore and Hong Kong raise their levels of resilience in just 24 hours. Learn more about that here.

According to market research and data analytics firm YouGov, Singapore has one of the most sleep-deprived populations in the world. Quantity is just as much of a problem as quality; only one in four people report sleeping seven hours or more every night, and fewer than one-fifth of respondents sleep through the night.

Sleep deprivation leads to emotional outcomes such as irritability, an increased tendency to think negatively, and motivational deficits, among a laundry list of symptoms. But a low mood is just the tip of the iceberg. It has also been linked to physical conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, and obesity.

So if you have trouble snoozing at night, you may want to pay attention to this.

What makes a good night’s sleep?

Typically, adults between 26 and 64 years old need 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep every night. According to the National Sleep Foundation, that means:

• You fall asleep within 30 minutes of going to bed 
• You don’t wake up more than once a night 
• You spend at least 85% of that time asleep

Of course, sleep disorders affect both the quantity and quality of sleep. For example, people with insomnia have difficulty falling or staying asleep at least three nights a week for three months or more. Sleep disorders are best treated by medical professionals, but good sleep hygiene is something everyone can practise.

“They are small things to change, and they can sometimes seem a bit too easy, but sleep hygiene education is an essential part of cognitive-behavioural therapy for sleep disorders,” said Intellect’s clinical psychologist Linda Rinn during the Sleep Matters, From Science to Application webinar.

Consistent application of sleep hygiene is necessary for improvement to be seen, and different methods work for different people. Below is a list of options recommended by Linda.

How to maintain optimal sleep hygiene

1. Optimise your bedroom 

Good sleep starts with a conducive sleeping environment. A bedroom that is noisy, cluttered, and filled with reminders of work can contribute to poor sleep quality. Try to keep it neat and tidy, reserving the space solely for rest.

Studies have shown that a temperature of 18 or 19 degrees Celsius is ideal for falling asleep. In addition to temperature, brightness and noise levels also matter. Some people use blackout curtains, eyeshades, and earplugs, especially if they’re sharing a room. Others play white noise in the background, or one of the following alternatives:

Whenever possible, turn off all screens and LED displays at least an hour before bedtime. The blue light emitted by screens can throw off your body’s internal clock, leaving it guessing whether it’s day or night. Don’t forget to activate “Do Not Disturb” mode on your phone too to avoid being disturbed by pesky notifications during deep sleep. 

2. Establish psychological boundaries

We hate to break it to you, but sleeping in on your day off isn’t the treat it appears to be. Maintaining consistent sleep and wake times throughout the week, including weekends, is the foundation of good sleep hygiene. Set an alarm for the morning and wake up at the same time every day, even if you had a restless night with frequent awakenings.

Having a sleep schedule also helps you avoid bedtime procrastination. Some people delay going to bed because they feel dissatisfied with how their day went or because nighttime is the only “me time” they have. However, putting off sleep only perpetuates a vicious cycle; you’ll end up trying to compensate for the lost sleep the following day.

3. Nap strategically  

Linda also shared that naps can significantly improve your mental performance and physical health. According to research, a short nap is much more beneficial than simply relaxing while awake. 

However, napping can do more harm than good when done too late or for too long. The ideal duration is no longer than 20 minutes, and the best time to nap is around seven to eight hours after waking up and before going to bed.

If you need an extra boost, try a coffee nap. Since it takes about 15 to 20 minutes for coffee to take effect, drinking a cup of joe just before taking a nap can help you feel more alert and awake when you wake up.

4. Exercise at the right timings

Sleep and wakefulness are influenced by different neurotransmitters in the brain, which are in turn affected by our diet and physical activity. That’s why it’s advisable to avoid stimulants like coffee and cigarettes close to bedtime.

Similarly, exercise can improve sleep quality when done correctly. It’s best to engage in regular exercise and get some sunlight in the morning while avoiding evening workouts. If you can only fit in a workout session after work, replace high-intensity exercises with low- or moderate-intensity ones and wrap it up at least two hours before bedtime. 

5. Design a bedtime routine

A wind-down routine is also a powerful tool for improving sleep quality. Think of it as a nightly ritual to be done 30 to 60 minutes before bed—a series of activities that signal to your brain that it’s time to sleep. It works best with repetition and consistency and starts to yield results after a few consecutive days of practice.

Here are some ideas to incorporate into your bedtime routine:

Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique helps you differentiate between tension and relaxation by focusing on the sensations in your muscles. You can start by following an audio guide and eventually do it on your own once you become familiar with the steps.

Visualisation: This technique involves imagining different parts of your body as you try to fall asleep. You can start by visualising your toes and gradually move up through the rest of your body.

Counting sheep: A timeless method to distract yourself from rumination and shift your focus to something that requires minimal mental processing.

Keeping a sleep journal: Before going to bed, you can write down any thoughts or concerns that are keeping you awake. This can help take them off your mind. You can also keep a sleep log to identify patterns, what has worked for you, and what hasn’t.

Practising breathing exercises: This is another tried and tested method to induce sleep. For instance, box breathing involves inhaling, holding your breath, exhaling, and keeping your lungs empty for four counts each.

You could also try balloon breathing, where you imagine your breath as an inflatable object expanding and contracting with your lungs, or colour breathing by picturing a colour that represents how you want to feel or what you want to let go of.

6. Get out of bed temporarily when you can’t sleep 

Even when you implement all these sleep hygiene tips, there will still be nights when you have difficulty falling asleep. It’s natural to feel helpless, but it’s in your best interest to stay calm and avoid panicking.

Rather than tossing and turning for hours on end, leave your bedroom if you can’t fall asleep after 20 minutes. The reason? You don’t want your mind to associate your bed with frustration,  just as you wouldn’t want to reply to emails in bed and disrupt its role as a place of rest.

You may find yourself focusing on the time you’re losing, but that often leads to anxiety. Instead, get out of bed and engage in something relaxing in low light. The key is resisting the temptation to turn the electronics back on. 

Hack your sleep with Intellect

Remember, just because these methods don’t work for you doesn’t mean all hope is lost. Our minds and bodies are unique, and the key to a good night’s rest may look different for everyone.

Of course, there’s always the option of using the Intellect self-care app for breathing exercises, mindfulness activities, and journaling. The app offers Rescue Sessions to help you fall asleep and a Learning Path dedicated to sleep hygiene. In addition, our panel of ICF-accredited coaches, licensed counsellors, and clinical psychologists can support you through what’s keeping you up at night.

Learn more about how Intellect can benefit you and your organisation.

A healthy amount of stress can motivate us to improve our performance. However, when we transition from a state of eustress to distress, we enter a territory where our coping abilities become insufficient. We risk burning out, compromising not only our mental but also our physical wellbeing.

When it comes to recognising burnout, the bottom line is that the earlier we seek help, the better we can prevent it. While burnout is a slippery slope that worsens if left untreated, we do have access to tools that can help us manage it.

7 stages of burnout

Acknowledging the problem is the first step toward repair. Several debilitating thought patterns, manifested in low mood and energy, are telltale signs of burnout. Those experiencing burnout often feel like every day is a bad day, and the majority of their time is spent on tasks that are either mind-numbingly dull or completely overwhelming. This leads to chronic bouts of fatigue and exhaustion, with no sense of fulfilment or validation.

Of course, the road to burnout is not linear. We may find ourselves in different areas of the spectrum, and it’s normal to move across these stages.

Imagine that you’ve just started a new job and bitten off more than what you can chew. Here’s how your feelings of stress and burnout may escalate.

Knowing where we are can help us determine the appropriate intervention required. While many only seek help at Stages 6 or 7, it’s advisable to do so at Stages 3 or 4. When we notice an imbalance or dissatisfaction due to a misalignment between our expectations and reality, we can begin to address it with lifestyle changes. Once we find ourselves in the more serious stages of burnout, it is recommended to seek professional help. 

Personalities of stress

In addition to pinpointing where we are on the burnout spectrum, understanding our “stress personality” can help uncover the root causes of stress and address them.

Like other personality assessment tools, we need not confine ourselves to these “stress personalities.” We may embody all three, defaulting to different stress personalities in different settings. Being aware of these tendencies allows us to find a balance.

For example, a Helper may recognise that helping at the expense of their own wellbeing may compromise the quality of support. This mindset shift may empower them to set boundaries without severing connections.

Preventing burnout through internal work

Preventing burnout takes internal work and external changes; accepting stressors beyond our control while optimising our environment for wellbeing. The following coping mechanisms delve into the first half of the equation.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)

Relaxation exercises, such as deep breathing and visualisation, can help soothe the nervous system when you’re experiencing discomfort. Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) is a simple exercise in which we tense and then relax specific muscles as a way to calm both the body and mind.

Self-talk

We are harder on ourselves than we are on others, and it’s crucial for us to recognise and counteract negative thoughts as they arise. With that said, our “replacement” thoughts should be balanced, believable, and realistic, lest we fall into the trap of toxic positivity.

Purpose and meaning

Where do you invest your time and energy? More importantly, what do these commitments do for you? Answering these two questions with tools like this Energy Management Map helps illuminate our core values and beliefs. Knowing why we do what we do – whether it’s switching careers or volunteering for a cause – builds a sense of purpose and meaning that makes our hard work worthwhile.

Preventing burnout through external change

Now that we’ve covered personal psychology, how can we minimise stressors in our environment? The first step is redefining what productivity means to us.

Check your fundamentals

So you’ve read books like The 4-Hour Work, become a master of the Pomodoro method, and installed multiple apps to help you focus at work. Yet, the feelings of stress and burnout haven’t eased. What gives?

While many attribute feelings of stress and burnout to their lack of productivity, there’s more to productivity than checking items off a to-do list. The tools and techniques you’ve picked up are only as effective as the foundation they rest on, composed of the internal work we discussed above and the fundamentals of wellbeing. 

Our environment, sleep hygiene, exercise, and nutrition are integral to our daily functioning, yet they’re all too easy to neglect. Has the clutter on your work desk finally gotten to you? Are those sugary snacks doing your concentration levels a disservice? “Auditing” the fundamentals of wellbeing can help you tip these external factors to your favour.

Reach out to coworkers

More often than not, asking “how are you?” gets you superficial answers. Since our co-workers are people we’ve gone through thick and thin with, there’s an enormous opportunity to strengthen our personal connections and bolster workplace wellbeing. As tempting as it is to come together and lament about the stressful aspects of work, it is perhaps more meaningful to use prompts like: 

• What are you most excited for this week? 
• What did you do to take care of yourself today?
• What made you smile today?

Perform an act of kindness

Receiving an act of kindness fills us with feelings of gratitude, but did you know that offering one can also make us more resilient to stress? The little things, like sharing snacks you bought on vacation with coworkers, bring lightness to an otherwise high-strung environment. Appreciating a team member openly during a meeting takes little to no effort from our end, yet it does wonders for workplace cultures.

Intellect – an end-to-end solution for employee wellbeing

With the burnout epidemic underway, organisations worldwide have ramped up their efforts to protect workplace wellbeing and, by extension, employee engagement. Leading regional and global employers, from Grab to Heineken, are among Intellect’s partners who have benefited from our offerings. That includes the self-guided interventions on our digital platform; coaching, counselling, and psychotherapy sessions; and in-person mental healthcare at Intellect’s clinics.

Click here to learn more about Intellect for businesses.

Caregivers everywhere know that caring for the elderly, persons with disabilities, or persons with mental health conditions can seem like a full-time job. It isn’t just about being responsible for a loved one’s physical and medical health. There are also the emotional, social, financial, and legal aspects of caregiving. The stress felt by caregivers in Singapore can be overwhelming; a survey recently found that 40% of caregivers were at risk of depression.

If this resonates with you, we want you to know that you’re not alone, and that there are resources to support you emotionally, physically, and financially. Below are some of them.

Training

Training is essential for caregivers in Singapore, whether you’re just embarking on their caregiving journey or already in the middle of it. Courses can help you understand what your loved one is experiencing, ensuring that you are well-informed and confident of taking on the responsibilities of caregiving. 

1. Agency for Integrated Care (AIC)

AIC conducts multiple caregiver training courses that cover essential skills for planning and managing care. 

Some essential courses are even supported by SkillsFuture Credits, including those that cover caring for your loved one’s daily needs—and caring for yourself. 

AIC courses cover: 

• ABCs of caregiving for loved ones that are (A) frail but ambulant, (B) bedbound, or (C) wheelchair bound
• Home nursing care
• Dementia care
• Stroke care and rehabilitation
• Special care for those with educational needs or specific learning difficulties
• Palliative and end-of-life care

To learn more, visit AIC Caregiving. 

2. Social Service Institute (SSI)

While SSI caters to caregiving professionals, individuals can also benefit from their offering. Notably, SSI partners organisations such as the Dyslexia Association of Singapore Academy, Samaritans of Singapore, The Salvation Army Peacehaven to make the best practices of caregiving accessible. 

Training areas cover: 

• Eldercare
• Caring for people with disabilities
• Caring for children and youth
• Developing knowledge and skills to support individuals with mental health conditions

There’s also a Preparatory Caregiver Training Programme to equip you with pre-planning, managing, and communication skills. For a full list of courses, visit SSI Course Selection or learn more about SSI. 

Social support

Making self-care a priority is a real challenge for caregivers, especially in an Asian context where filial piety is king. Until you acknowledge the complex emotions that come with caregiving, you may struggle to prevent burnout, manage negative emotions, and seek professional help. The latter includes support groups, respite services, and advance care planning resources. 

3. Enabling Guide by SG Enable

Support groups offer a safe and inclusive space for caregivers to connect with one another, and are a great platform for you to not only receive support but also offer it.

If you’re looking after neurodiverse individuals or persons with disabilities, SG Enable has compiled a list of informal support groups around:

• Autism 
• ADHD
• Special needs and learning disabilities
• Deaf and hearing loss
• Visual impairment
• Stroke survivors
• Cerebral palsy

To view the full list of support groups, visit Enabling Guide by SG Enable. 

4. Caregivers Alliance Limited (CAL)

CAL goes beyond creating a support system for caregivers, offering training albeit in an informal way. Under their C2C program, caregivers provide one another with advice, coaching, and emotional support. 

They’ve also partnered with the People’s Association to form Engagement to Empowerment (E2E) teams across six constituencies to provide community-based peer support for caregivers. They cover important topics such as:

• Understanding and managing emotions
• Preventing caregiver burnout
• Building resilience
• Finding meaning and purpose in caregiving

Learn more by visiting the CAL Caregiver Support page.  

5. Tsao Foundation’s Hua Mei Centre for Successful Ageing (HMCSA)

Like the two organisations above, HMCSA’s Hua Mei Counselling and Coaching arm provides training and peer support for caregivers on similar journeys. 

Additionally, they offer respite services to caregivers of the elderly, including home-based health services, home monitoring visits, and nursing home placements through their mobile clinic team. Their multi-disciplinary teams are also trained in basic dementia caregiving, geriatric, and gerontology.

To learn more, visit Hua Mei Centre for Successful Ageing. 

6. Night Respite by AIC

Juggling round-the-clock care with daily routines and full-time jobs is an uphill task—one that caregivers of individuals with dementia are familiar with.

This is where AIC’s Night Respite service comes in, catering to dementia patients with sundowning behaviour—the worsening of behavioural difficulties towards the end of the day. 
Government subsidies are available for those who need the service, and more information on eligibility and application can be found on AIC’s Night Respite page.

7. My Legacy by LifeSG

Critical decisions about end-of-life arrangements are never easy, but knowing that both parties are on the same page can be freeing for the caregiver and empowering for their loved ones.

Advance care planning (ACP) has helped caregivers understand and respect the wishes of their loved ones by offering education, facilitating conversations, assisting with documentation, and communicating with healthcare providers. 

Most polyclinics and hospitals can arrange for an ACP session. Alternatively, you can find an ACP facilitator by visiting My Legacy by LifeSG.

Financial support

8. SupportGoWhere

SupportGoWhere is a comprehensive, government-run portal for caregivers to search for schemes and support programs. Not sure where to begin? The Care Services Recommender can point you in the right direction depending on whom you’re caring for. The Support For You Calculator is another useful tool to get a sense of what you’re eligible for.

To learn more, visit SupportGoWhere.

9. Caregivers Training Grant & Home Caregiving Grant

Now, there are grants for the everyday and medical needs of your loved ones. But what about you?

Enter the Caregivers Training Grant (CTG), which covers the cost of essential training courses; and the Home Caregiving Grant (HCG), which provides up to $400 monthly cash payout. If you’ve had to hire a domestic worker to care for a loved one with disabilities, you may also apply for the Migrant Domestic Worker (MDW) Levy Concession and reduce the levy from $300 to $60 per month. 

To learn more, visit the AIC Financial Assistance page. 

How Intellect can help caregivers in Singapore

Caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint. And to provide the best possible care for your loved ones, you first have to take care of yourself.

Intellect makes self-care simple on our app, offering self-guided interventions developed by Cognitive Behavioural Therapy practitioners and access to coaches, counsellors, and therapists if you need to talk to someone.

Learn more about our platform here.

“What we consume affects our physical body, one component of which is our brain, which controls our mental and emotional health,” said Chan Joy Seng, Director and Accredited Nutritionist at Alive Nutrition Consultancy, at Intellect’s Mental Health Festival 2023.

Catch up on the session titled “Achieving Holistic Health through Financial, Nutritional, and Physical Wellbeing” here:

The same goes for financial and mental wellbeing. Studies have shown that financial worries are closely associated with higher levels of psychological distress. And as debt may trigger poor decision-making, what ensues is a vicious cycle where feelings of anxiety compound. 

At our recent Mental Health Asia 2023, we gathered a panel of financial, medical, physical, and nutritional experts to share actionable tips on how improve our mental health through holistic wellbeing. 

Financial wellbeing

Mental and financial health are deeply intertwined. “A BlackRock study showed that money is the number one cause of stress in Singapore, especially for millennials,” shared So Sin Ting, Chief Client Officer at Endowus. 

Much of that stress stems from feelings of anxiety over future financial security, which has been multiplied by economic uncertainty and fluctuating interest rates. To maintain a healthier financial outlook, Sin Ting recommends the following strategies.

“Marie Kondo” your finances

Tidying up your finances is very much like tidying up your room. Start by unpacking everything, stepping back, and taking a good look at what you own and what you owe. This requires some form of organisation or expense tracking, so you can see where most of your money goes. 

From there, you can start “throwing out” unnecessary expenses. For example, do you really need to be subscribed to three video streaming services? Here are some other questions you may ask yourself:

• Does your budget need to be revised? 
• How much are you spending on needs and wants? 
• Do you have a plan for paying off debt? 

Build an emergency fund

Setting aside a sum of money as a buffer or safety net can help reduce any anxiety you might feel about “what if” scenarios. 

“This is money you would set aside for those unexpected emergencies,” said Sin Ting, “And I think having this in place really takes a huge weight off your shoulders and gives you that peace of mind.” 

An emergency could be a sudden medical expense, a car repair, or even a temporary loss of income. The rule of thumb for emergency funds is that it should cover at least 6 months’ worth of your living expenses.

Set goals and start investing

There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to financial goals. For some, it could be building a retirement fund. For others, it could be purchasing a home. Once you’re clear on what your goals are, you can start figuring out a game plan, which could entail looking into robo-advisors.

42% of Singaporeans believe that they don’t have enough funds yet to start investing. But Albert Einstein famously called compound interest the eighth wonder of the world for good reason, and Sin Ting recommended starting small and early rather than waiting around for the “right time.” 

“If you start investing smaller amounts early and regularly, you can really enjoy the benefits of compounding on your returns,” she said. And if you don’t feel confident about making the right investment choices, it’s always good to seek professional advice. 

Nutritional wellbeing

In order to eat well and feel good, it’s important to develop a diet that does not feel overly restrictive or intense. Instead, focus on the expansive nature of your routine—by incorporating mindfulness, education, and long-term “glow up” in your nutrition—to help good habits stick and bad ones fall away more easily. 

Educate yourself on fad diets

Completely cutting carbohydrates and going keto has been sensationalised in recent years, but Joy Seng cautions against such extreme measures. 

“Our brain mainly uses glucose (from carbohydrates) as a source of fuel,” he explained. “For people who are on keto diets, they will likely have experienced something called keto flu, where they feel tired or unwell because the brain isn’t getting the right fuel. People on keto diets also tend to be more affected by mood fluctuations and agitation, which in turn affect mental health.”

Glucose is also an essential component for the body to produce serotonin, the “feel good” hormone; and melatonin, the “sleep” hormone, which affects our quality of sleep and thus our mental health. 

Set achievable daily goals

When starting out, focus on smaller changes to your lifestyle rather than gravitate towards quick fixes or crash diets. The health and wellness industry has marketed itself as being able to deliver results in a couple of months or less, but true holistic wellness lies in sustainability, said Erwan Heussaff, Co-founder of health app REBEL. 

“I always tell people to start small, start with achievable goals that you can accomplish day-to-day, every day until it becomes almost second nature to you,” he explained.

This beats counting down to cheat day in misery only to end up binge-eating and feel worse the next day. Intellect’s Clinical Psychologist, Linda Rinn, shares how to build a better relationship with food here. 

Avoid “bad mood” foods

There are good fats and bad fats. While essential and polyunsaturated fatty acids like Omega-3 are vital to our brain’s function and wellbeing, high amounts of processed and saturated fats may lead to neuroinflammation and poor cognitive function and even contribute to depression and anxiety. 

For a more nutritious and fulfilling diet, learn to discern between healthy carbohydrates and refined sugars, as well as beneficial and detrimental fats. That knowledge will go a long way the next time you’re deciding between a slab of salmon and a ribeye steak for dinner.

Adopt mindful eating

It isn’t just what you eat, but why you eat, emphasised Joy Seng and Erwan. This is why Erwan recommended keeping a food journal to record how you feel after each meal. People often realise that healthier, more nutritious food leaves them feeling better and more energised, leading them to seek out these options more and maintaining a virtuous cycle.

The emotional aspect of consumption cannot be ignored, echoed Joy Seng. When reaching out for a piece of food, consider whether you’re eating because you’re hungry and you need the calories, or if you’re experiencing emotional hunger.

Unlock holistic wellbeing with Intellect

“Mental wellbeing is all-pervasive,” explained Dr Jade Kua, Life Coach and Medicine Specialist at Jade Life and Wellness. “I’ve found that when my mental and emotional wellness is low, my physical and work wellness is also affected.”

Holistic wellness is ultimately a lifestyle choice. Because no blanket solution works for every individual, consulting an expert on a customised plan is the way to go. Learn more about how Intellect can help your employees achieve holistic wellbeing here.

How to practise self-care

1. The secret to thriving as an introvert? “Battery” management.

Just as you wouldn’t allow your phone’s battery to fall below 10%, why should you let yourself operate on empty? In his session titled “Unlocking Employee Engagement & Wellbeing with Authenticity & Resilience,” Nathan Andres, Author and former Chief People Officer of The Body Shop, delves into the four essential energy sources that drive modern life: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

“Knowing where your energy comes from, how we manage it, what drains it, and how we focus enables us to be resilient,” he said, underlining how resilience ultimately fosters employee engagement and a culture of wellbeing.

When asked about strategies for introverts to thrive in workplaces that may seem to favour extroverts, Nathan, an introvert himself, emphasised the significance of energy management.

Catch up on his session here:

“When we look at how you want to show up in groups and demonstrate good leadership, it’s really about how you want to bend back and forth (between introversion and extroversion) to ensure you’re managing your energy in the right way while being effective.”

In his perspective, coaching plays a vital role in helping introverts and ambiverts find this equilibrium and silence unconstructive thoughts from their inner critic.

To explore further how coaching can benefit your organisation, even if you already have exceptional managers in place, click here.

2. It’s lonely at the top. What can leaders do about it?

Coaching can also help enhance one’s self-awareness, a vital element for success, particularly among organisational leaders. This insight was highlighted by Shweta Shukla in her session titled “Empowering Leaders: Charting a Course to Mental Health Ownership and Sustainable Cultures.”

In her perspective, the foremost task for any leader involves identifying their triggers, recognising what fuels their energy, and carving out personal space within their leadership roles.

Catch up on her session here:

“Whether you like it or not, teams in organisations need a lot from the leader. But that doesn’t mean you have to be formidable…but you always have to be in touch with your own humanity,” she shared. 

Shweta herself turns to the National Gallery of Singapore when she finds herself in a challenging situation. Being surrounded by art has a unique calming effect on her, allowing her to recalibrate before plotting her next course of action. Having a support system is also invaluable, she said.

“It can be very, very lonely at the top. Often, in leadership positions, you don’t have the privilege of having a community,” she said, adding that community can be sought within or outside the organisation, or even in individuals leaders have worked with in the past.

3. Don’t wait for a diagnosis to take action. Prevent it.

We’re cognisant of the age-old adage that prevention is better than cure. It’s why we religiously take vitamins, hit the gym, and visit the dentist biannually. But, intriguingly, when it comes to mental health, this fundamental principle often escapes our grasp.

In her session, “Leading from Within: Why Mental Wellbeing is the Missing Catalyst of Organisational Success,” Anthea Indira Ong, the Founder of WorkWell Leaders, delivered a powerful message: “You can experience a state of languishing without a diagnosable mental illness, just as you can flourish with one.”

Catch up on her keynote here:

The core idea here revolves around viewing mental health as a spectrum, a continuum. Are you grappling, merely surviving, or thriving? In the past, any discussion of mental health invariably pointed to an absence thereof, implying an ailment or disorder. This is inevitable, given that mental health care is traditionally targeted at the latter. But times have changed. Today, when we discuss mental wellbeing, everyone has a stake in it.

“Mental health isn’t just about illness. It’s about managing and coping stress. Good stress, tolerable stress, and traumatic stress,” asserted Associate Professor Daniel Fung, CEO of Singapore’s Institute of Mental Health (IMH). 

How to support others

4. Use “emotional language”, or coin your own.

Think about the last time you felt down. Were you sad, mad, scared, embarrassed, or guilty? The words we use help us understand and handle our feelings. If you ever struggle to put your emotions into words, the Emotion Wheel can be a handy tool.

“Something very simple that I do is talk to my kids about their emotions, or to use emotional language to label their experience and see whether it connects with them,” said Goh Zhengqin, Deputy Head of Health & Wellbeing at National University of Singapore, in the session, “From Silence to Strength: Empowering Young Adults to Reach Out in an Era of Misinformation.”

Catch up on their discussion here:

“It’s just helping them to understand their own emotions. That in itself allows them to talk about it, in contrast with the so-called traditional Asian parenting. This is the generation (with whom) we have that opportunity to make that change.”

But what can you do when your loved ones seem closed off and reluctant to communicate? In such situations, even something as straightforward as sending an emoji can be remarkably helpful, as suggested by Hanli Hoefer, a Presenter and Actor:

“I realised that my brother isn’t great at asking for help, and I remember telling him that hey, you don’t need to call me. You can just send me an emoji and I’ll know that you need a lifeline. Maybe saying ‘Hey, I need support’ isn’t your language, but let’s find one that works for us.”

5. Notice signs of suicide ideation. Don’t let them slide.

It’s a scenario we hope to never encounter, but one we must be prepared for: How should we respond when someone hints at having thoughts of suicide? Our instinct tells us we should reach out, but we often don’t know how to go about it. This is where Mental Health First Aid, a course for which Intellect is the licensed provider, becomes invaluable.

During his session, “Bystander No More: Practical Tips From the Mental Health First Aid™ Toolkit,” Dr. Oliver Suendermann, VP of Clinical at Intellect, asserts that the worse thing we can do is to say nothing and dispels the myth that asking someone if they’re contemplating suicide can implant such thoughts in their mind.

Here are some recommendations:

6. Stay informed about resources in the local community.

As much as we wish to support our loved ones, it’s crucial to recognize our own limitations and guide them to the appropriate support when necessary. In the session titled “It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint: Self-Care Tips for Caregivers To Go the Distance,” Cindy, a caregiver to her daughter Valerie, who is recovering from schizophrenia, shared her motivation for seeking help.

In the session titled “It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint: Self-Care Tips for Caregivers To Go the Distance”, Cindy, caregiver to her daughter Valerie, who is recovering from schizophrenia, shared the importance of coming to terms with one’s reality.

“Acceptance is very important. Once you accept it, you will accept help,” she said. Her journey led her to the Caregivers Alliance Ltd. (CAL), a step that made a profound difference. So much so that she and Valerie now serve as Programme Managers at CAL, a way of giving back and finding a renewed sense of purpose.

According to See Yen Theng, Chief of Caregiving and Community Mental Health Division at the Agency for Integrated Care (AIC), many caregivers don’t identify themselves as such, as they perceive their caregiving responsibilities as acts of filial piety that don’t warrant recognition. Consequently, they miss out on access to support and, most importantly, the realisation that they are not alone in their journey.

Mental Health Festival 2023 

The key takeaway is crystal clear: Mental health is everyone’s business. With self-awareness, empathic communication, and access to community resources, we can transform awareness into tangible actions and turn well-meaning intentions into measurable results.

Read our summary of Mental Health Festival 2023 for organisations or reach out to Intellect for a demo.